Unbreakable

Sorry for the graphic picture, but let this be a lesson to all of you. Don't ever try to make tools work when they are not the right tool!

Don't worry, though. This happened a couple of years ago, before we left for Nicaragua. I was at my ex's house, borrowing tools to try and change the oil on our Saturn Vue. Since I couldn't bear to part with a whole $20 or so to pay someone to change the oil, I decided to do it myself. I didn't have any tools that would work, so I went to the ex's to borrow some from her husband.

I was laying under the car in the driveway, reefing on a conflagration of sockets, reducers, bits, etc when something gave way and something flew back and hit me in the eye. I crawled out and was on my hands and knees with one hand over my eye. My ex asked me if I was ok. I pulled my hand away and it was bloody. I replied, "not exactly". I stood up and asked her to take a look. She quickly responded with a negative, apparently because of her weak stomach. I went into the house and asked my oldest daughter to take a look (she is not squeamish - more like her dad). She informed me that I had cut my eye open and offered to call my wife to fill her in. "No!", I shouted. "She would have a heart attack."

I borrowed an old towel to cover my eye, and asked my daughter to drive me down the street to my son's apartment where my wife was. As we arrived and were walking into the building, my daughter asked me again if she should go in first to prepare Robin. "No! She would FLIP OUT." We walked through the door and I started speaking fast. "Honey, everything is fine. I just had a little accident. Now, I need you to stay calm. I was working on the Saturn and a tool broke and I hit myself in the eye". All this while holding the towel over my face. I could see the impending panic, but maybe because of my calm speech she didn't get excited. I got brave and showed her the eye. She DID insist on going to the urgent care facility of course.

The doctor at the urgent care facility looked at the eye and confirmed my worst fear: I had cut the white part of my eye. All I could think about were all the instances that I joked with my friend Dave about him losing HIS eye in a construction accident. (Sidebar - he always took my joking in stride, I am sure he knew I meant no harm). She arranged for us to see an opthmalogist immediately.

We got the that doctor's office and he came in right away. I continued to maintain my composure, even kept joking. I wondered what it would be like to live life with only one eye. After peering into my eye with a bright light for maybe 10 or 15 seconds, he pronounced his diagnosis.....

"You'll be fine."

What?? Fine with only one eye? How can that be?

"Your eye is not cut, only bruised. The outer clear covering has not been breached." Just take some pain medication and wear a patch for a few days was the entire recommendation. Once I got past the shock of NOT losing my eye, I was quite relieved. As was the wife.

Since it was obvious I wasn't losing my eye, I could joke about it! Hence the title of this post. I was happy to tell everyone that I am just glad it happened to me, and not to a normal guy. Anyone else would be blind. I am apparently unbreakable.

The moral of the story is: Don't lose sight of your common sense. If you don't have the right tools for the job, either get them or hire someone else to do it.